Week 39: A Jerk Two Ways
“I need help.”
Why are these three words so difficult to say? Is it an admission of weakness? Is it that you don’t want to be a bother, or take precious time from those you care about? Is it pride, shame, or guilt?
It used to be really hard for me to ask for help, but about 15 years ago life in the Bennett household turned upside down and we needed help. However, I was hell-bent on not asking for it. Thankfully, a close friend who recognized that we needed help rallied some of her people and they generously offered assistance. When I told her that I was incredibly embarrassed, yet grateful at the same time, she said, “When you don’t ask for help, you are denying others the joy that’s experienced through acts of generosity. In other words, not asking for help is actually selfish.”
Since that honest moment, I’ve worked really hard to allow myself the vulnerability of both requesting and receiving help. Sure, I’m proud, tenacious, and can slip into my stubborn, two-year-old “I’ll do it myself” persona with great ease. But, sometimes you just have to give in and realize you need a little shoring up from your tribe. This week was one of those moments. I fell on the hiking trail and managed to hurt my back. After days of ignoring the discomfort, my back told me (loud and clear) to rest. Driving, sitting, or standing for any length of time was painful; and while I wanted to keep my commitment to 52 Saturdays cooking, I looked at the days ahead and realized it was going to be a real challenge. So, I did what any modern blogger does and crowdsourced my Facebook community. Instantly, I received two generous offers to cook this week’s recipe. My son’s father-in-law is preparing one this weekend in its original form (I’ll post the pics and notes by the end of the weekend), and my daughter’s mother-in-law—who is a vegan—agreed to revamp the Jerk Pork to a tofu recipe. Both genuinely seemed thrilled to participate and I love that the experience was kept in the family. Thank you Robin and Eric! And, thank you to my friend Brenda, who taught me the valuable lesson of asking for help so many years ago.
All of this thinking about vulnerability, pride, and asking for help left me wondering how my mom was in that regard. In an earlier post, I mentioned that she started going to church when I was 12, which allowed us to be part of a larger community of support.
But, I don’t recall her reaching out for support in my earlier years. In fact, I’m pretty sure there were times when she really should’ve asked for assistance to care for her kids and day to day needs. For example, I came home from school to an empty house an awful lot for an elementary school-aged child. I often cooked for myself, did household chores, and went to the laundromat from a young age. There were even times when I was sick, but my mom had to go to work, so her solution was to set up a comfortable place for me to rest, play, and entertain myself in the back of our station wagon while she went to the office. A decision that by today’s standards might’ve been cause to involve the state’s department of children’s services.
I don’t believe my mother’s expectation for me to be self-reliant was out of neglect or lack of love—I’ve never doubted how much she loved me. But, rather it was out of sheer necessity, an inability to reach out for help, and likely a hefty dose of shame.
In those days, the era of Donald Draper and Mad Men, divorcees and single parents were rare. Additionally, women had only returned to the workforce in large numbers less than 10 years prior. Society had yet to figure out how to navigate the issues of sick leave and childcare for single parents (and, to be honest, we still have a long way to go).
Obviously, I turned out okay…I didn’t burn down the house, swallow poison, or take rides from strangers (okay, I did once). But, I did become one very sassy, resilient, independent woman who knows when to ask for help.
This week I was vulnerable and friends came to my aide!
Original Recipe
Jamaican Jerk Pork
Eric’s Original Recipe Jerk Pork
Eric’s Process
Kit, here is how I cooked your recipe last night.
I used two pork tenderloins.
The rub was pretty much as the recipe stated except I used ground allspice and a food processor instead of the mortar and pestle, just lazy I guess. I rubbed the mixture on the pork and let sit for about an hour. I then placed them in a stovetop smoker and smoked them at about 250 deg for 1.5hrs. They were delicious. Jenny, Alex, Katie, Brandon and Evelyn were here and loved it.
I think the smokiness added a nice additional flavor.
The rest of the meal.
For the pork I also made apple chutney which added just a little sweetness to the spicy pork.
I also made fresh blackened corn and rice.
For desert Evelyn made an apple pie and I made vanilla ice cream.
The vegetarian twist, since Jenny and Alex eat mostly vegetarian I made two Jerk portabella mushrooms. They said they were good, but marinating them in red wine first would have helped. I also smoked those for about 30 mins.
All in all great meal and I will make it again.
Robin’s Process
As I stated before, I asked for help and that was the process. Kara’s (my daughter) mother in law Robin served grilled tofu this summer and I felt confident that her technique of freezing the tofu before grilling would work well with a jerk sauce. So I was thrilled when she offered to cook!
Because she was serving Kara, who is a nursing mother, she went light on the spices. I’m not providing her specific recipe, but rather just her photos and notes below.
Enjoy!
Robin’s Vegan Jerk Pork For Baby
Follow original recipe but substitute the pork with extra firm tofu and add or change spices to taste.
Tofu was sliced, pressed and frozen for 2 hours.
I added a lil’ vino, vegetable broth and a bit of brown sugar (tough crowd)
Drizzling!
“hold the hots for baby”…”It Was Yummy Nana!
Results
It was a good International meal.
Jamaican jerk, tomatoes with Thai basil, Italian risotto, French wine, Syrian bread and Mexican chili peppers. Ole!
I think Lou would have preferred it on chicken, but not a bad sauce at all for tofu! Nice to have another recipe.
Thanks for including me this week Kit. It was fun! ~ Robin
Week 39 Recipe Pick
Now for a baby animal recipe … I do NOT eat lamb so this will be a total revamp.
