Week 28: Peppers and the Past

For most people, Grandma (or in my case, Nana) is synonymous with warmth, tenderness, well-worn aprons, fresh-baked cookies, snuggles, silly games, and front-row cheering during school concerts.
While I have every intention of making sure that image is true for my grandchildren, this was not the case with me and my mom’s mother, my Nana. I can’t speak for my sisters, maybe they have better memories of her, but the nana I experienced was a not-so-nice Nana.

In one of my earlier posts, I mentioned that from a very young age I thought my mom was going to die, and I pretty much waited for that inevitable occurrence for many years. Well, my nana was primarily responsible for that childhood fear. I didn’t see her often, but when I did she had nothing nice to say about my mother. They would argue in front of me, and the few times I was alone with Nana she would go on and on about how irresponsible my mother was, how she owed her money, and how she ruined the marriage with my dad. Several times, she even told me that if my mom didn’t do something about her health and weight she was going to die at a very young age. Yes, that was indeed true, but not something you should share with a 10-year-old child. Nice one, Nana!

 The other day I was trying to imagine what it was like for my mom when she returned to Rhode Island from California in 1969 (plus or minus a year or two). Her marriage had fallen apart, she was left to raise five daughters on her own, and she dealt with both mental health and obesity issues.  Plus, the year prior to her return home she lost her daughter suddenly in a car accident.

I never spoke to her about this, but I suspect she returned to Rhode Island in hopes of receiving family support. Who knows? Maybe she did get support at some point, but I was too young to notice. It’s possible like so many people with mental health issues or those navigating grief that she ended up burning that family bridge. I’m not exactly sure, but as an adult looking back I don’t recall any signs of support from her own mother.

 Instead, what I witnessed was a tremendous amount of judgment, rejection, nastiness, and—let’s just say—the opposite of the warm and fuzzy kind of behavior one would expect from a nana.

Over the years I’ve definitely reached a level of forgiveness for my Nana. I truly believe we are all doing the best we can with what we have, and I’m sure my Nana was dealing with some demons of her own at the time, which were expressed with bitterness and judgment. I do have a few fond memories, like how Nana could knit like nobody’s business (Mom acquired that skill, too), how she always gave me Callard & Bowser butterscotch candies, and, pertinent to this week’s recipe, how she made delicious green pepper and sausage sandwiches. There was something in the way she cooked the green peppers that made them taste sweet. I suspect, like my mother’s recipe suggests, it was because she cooked them over a long period of time.

So here’s to all nanas — my Nana (I forgive you, and I’m sorry you felt so much pain), the nana that my mom was (though briefly), and the one I am fortunate enough to be! 

I decided to cook this recipe exactly as is, with the exception of using fresh Italian herbs. As long as you’re using organic produce and a good healthy olive oil it’s a clean, healthy recipe. I considered using ricotta cheese as opposed to mozzarella, because it does have less fat, but the flavor profile and texture would have changed too much with ricotta.  If you do want to remove the mozzarella, you could add a little bit of freshly grated Parmesan, instead. Hard cheeses provide far more flavor in a smaller amount, resulting in a lower fat recipe.

Original Recipe

Federal Hill Fry 
Named for the unofficial Little Italy of Providence RI (read the sordid history)

 

I believe the quality of the vegetables is really the key in this recipe. Be picky about the peppers and the tomatoes you choose – organic garden fresh is ideal! In my opinion, the fresh herbs made all the difference. I enjoyed this on its own, but if I was serving it for others I’d likely pair it with hot Italian turkey sausage and some fresh bread. Yum!!!

I prefer this garlic stone over a garlic press. It produces a milder garlic flavor and smashing the clove is very satisfying after a stress-filled day 🙂

I cooked the peppers and onion and garlic on low to medium for 45 minutes and could have added 30 minutes for better flavor and texture. Green peppers are a food I usually avoid because I think they tend to overpower a recipe but in this case, the slow cook process really tones down the green pepper flavor.

I did add sliced tomatoes and herbs at the end but to be honest, I’m not convinced that the tomatoes added to the recipe that much.

Cooking this recipe filled my kitchen with the distinct aroma of peppers, garlic, and olive oil, which is not uncommon in my home. However, this time, along with that sweet, familiar smell, came a memory of what it smelled like when entering Nana’s apartment after she’d prepared the peppers for our visit. And you know what? The memory wasn’t bad.

Week 28 Recipe Pick

I’m missing Maine (and chocolate ) this week and want an excuse to cook one of my favorite desserts.

Tags: comfort food, dinner, from the heart, original recipe cards, side dish, thoughts